Third Anniversary

I have such mixed emotions regarding this day. It's the third anniversary of my dad's murder. As I've said before, I don't know what to do with this day. I can't ignore it. I can't forget it. What I can do is choose how I think about it. This time, however, the jury trial has actually happened so that is not hanging in my mind. I didn't blog about it because there's not much to say other than it happened. The murderer was convicted and sentenced to a long time behind bars. I've had people express to me that it must be good to have closure. I'm not sure what that means. There is no "getting over it". I have learned that that statement is not quite accurate. I don't like the phrase "move on" either. That has the "get over it" kind of attitude to it too. I have learned to live with it and that, to me, is moving forward.

The key word being live. So many people experience tragedy or hardship and never step forward again. They're stuck in the "what if's" or "woe is me" or "why me" or whatever. Yes, there is a time for grief and sadness after the shock of something wears off. There is also a time to step forward, move on as most people say. But moving on sounds like leaving something behind or walking away as if nothing happened. Something did happen. Something awful. Something horrific. Something I will never be able to forget. And there are still brief times of grief.

I will, however, choose to look at it from God's perspective. With God's words melded in my mind, it's easier to look at this messed up world. I choose to see the truth that Papa is in heaven with God, as promised to those who believe. I've never gone down the "why didn't God stop this?" road. We live in a sinful world, with sinful people who do sinful acts. As a result we suffer the consequences. None of us are exempt from that. All of us are sinners. As sinners we are all condemned. We are condemned unless we believe that Jesus died in our place for our sin. As a believer, there is a promise of eternity with God. An eternity without sin's effects or punishments. How awesome is that! I do not need to pay a price for my sin, it has already been paid. I do not need to suffer punishment because Jesus suffered for me. He got what was coming to me. I am eternally grateful for His sacrifice! AND IT'S FREE!

To the best of my knowledge, my dad was also a believer. I know I will see him again. None of us knew on this day three years ago that it would be his last. Thank God his soul was ready. Is yours? If you died today would God let you into heaven? It is impossible to do enough good deeds to satisfy a holy God. It is impossible to be religious enough to please the only true God. Going to church will not satisfy God, neither will baptism. If you don't believe, you just got wet. My point is that to avoid condemnation you have to believe that Jesus is who he says he is. He is the perfect son of God who died in your place for your sins, and rose from the dead. Jesus said himself, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me." (John14:6) That's it, there is only one way. Not complicated.  So, if you died today, where would you spend eternity? Are you trusting in your works or His?

For this day, I choose joy.

My joy is based on truth.

The truth of God's saving grace.

That joy cannot be erased, even by murder.

I choose joy.